


usage, but wet

by fishysama



Series: goretober 2020!!! [26]
Category: Free!, Junjou Romantica
Genre: Bad Humor, Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Drowning, Gen, Goretober, Goretober 2020, Humor, Poisoning, this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever written warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27359419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishysama/pseuds/fishysama
Summary: goretober day 26: drowningthis is a fucking disaster defwgtrhyjukyjhgtfrdsw don't read if you don't want nonsense
Series: goretober 2020!!! [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950796
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	usage, but wet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ronnnnnnnnn](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ronnnnnnnnn).



> i wrote this as a b-day gift for a friend back in march? but honestly im so behind at this point original fiction is going out the window
> 
> anyway i hope you like this trainwreck 💀

“WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” said Usage, looking at the huge fucking pool outside of the high school. “THAT’S A HUGE FUCKING POOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

All of the free kids— hargoo, milky, block of ramen head, and the dude with blue hair; glasses boy?????— look on in awe as the new kid goes bonkers over the most basic pool in animation history. “Uhhhhhh,” they say in unison, “Can I get uhhhhhhh…”

Usage Goosage was A Rich Boy from The Rich Part Of Town that used to go to Rich Boy School. BUT, after a titillating event— fleshlight; pencil sharpener— he was suspended! Now, he goes to Tight Undies Swimming Six-Pack Underage Little Boy’s School in the shitty part of town. Sucks for him! Since the only activity available to do at TUSSPULBS is swimming (there are no classes and only five people go there), he joined the swim team! With his protagonist hair and eyes, what else is he meant to do, hUh!!!!!?!

Usage spins around immediately after hearing the “uh”ing from the hot underage swimming boys, dick immediately on fire. “WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!!!!!!!!” he inquires.

“Uhhhhhhhh,” they all say in unison again, “We’re the, uhhh, swim team..? I’m hargoo, milky, block of ramen head, and the dude with blue hair; glasses boy?????”

“Wow,” Usage nuts, “Which one of you is which?”

They stare silently at him. Their skin rapidly begins to peel off. They all piss their swimming trousers. In unison.

“Well, I didn’t care in the first place. ANYWAY, lOOK at That COmmoner PPOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!1! Y’know, I’m PRETTY fuckin’ THIRSTY! I could really use a SI{P! This is what yoU guyses do during SWIMUNG CLUB, right!!!!!!?!” he exclaims(?), already drinking the pool water with a massive fucky straw.

“Wow, that’s hot,” the swimming team says, “You probably shouldn’t do that though because _drinking highly concentrated sources of chlorine (such as household bleach) can lead to vomiting, coma, and even death.[ 1](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=281546048) For this reason, many people fear that the chlorine in swimming pools and drinking water can be harmful for health, and cause cancer. This has been spread further by water filter manufacturers and makers of 'chlorine-free' pools, who may assert that chlorine can cause cancer._” They stopped pissing by now.

Because of Usage’s abnormally small brain, he didn’t understand any of this or even pick up that they were speaking. He continued to gulp down gallons of pool water like a dehydrated mackerel. He had never experienced such a  **Delicacy** in his whole life! Due to the massive loads of pool water entering his system, he began pissing at the same intensity and speed as a power washer. He began to expand outward, soon reaching the diameter of furry vore erotica. HE A BALLOON!.

The free boys watch on as the chlorine poisoning sets in. He begins to  _ vomiting, coma, and even death _ . The free boys start pissing again. And then stop.

* * *

“Haru-chan!!! Wait up!!”

“Drop the ‘chan.’”

“I can’t wait to swim!”

“Why am I a part of this series.”

Haruka Nanase, Makoto Tachibana, Nagisa Hazuki, and Rei Ryugazaki run to the pool, the only good thing about their high school! They had a Big Competition next week and needed to practice!

But, when they finally arrive at the pool, they’re met with a horrifying sight. Some idiot had drunk half the pool water and died! FUCK! There goes their freshly-cleaned cum water…

The groups of boys yell at their shitty doubles for not stopping him from polishing off the water. They were supposed to be guarding the pool while they were gone! At all times! And they even managed to fudge that one uP! H!!!!!!!!

hargoo, milky, block of ramen head, and the dude with blue hair; glasses boy????? didn’t really like this though, so they jumped in the remaining water and dissolved, turning the water into Hot Underage Boy kool-aid.

**Author's Note:**

> source for chlorine garbage [here](https://www.cancerwa.asn.au/resources/cancermyths/chlorine-cancer-myth/). what a fucking disaster
> 
> [tumblr](https://juroguro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
